


Written Down In Eternity

by Hclxs



Series: A New Horizon [1]
Category: Black Panther (2018), Black Widow (Movie 2020), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aunt Natasha Romanov, Awesome Laura Barton, Awesome Wanda Maximoff, BAMF Carol Danvers, BAMF Natasha Romanov, BAMF Ororo Munroe, BAMF T'Challa (Marvel), BAMF Wanda Maximoff, Character Death Fix, Child Death, Child Loss, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Comfort/Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Tony Stark, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Infinity Gems, Laura is everyones mom too, Mental Health Issues, Mutant Powers, Mutants, Nat has a potty mouth, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Ororo Munroe is a Good Friend, Parent Natasha Romanov, Parent T'Challa (Marvel), Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It, Protective Laura Barton, Protective T'Challa (Marvel), Ramonda is everyones mom, Tony Stark Feels, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, Wanda is stupid powerful, eventually, infinity gems do weird shit to people
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2020-10-28 00:04:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20769191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hclxs/pseuds/Hclxs
Summary: Natasha and Tony died so the universe could have a second chance at life. What happens when death decides to give them a second chance?In which Tony and Natasha survive but of course it's never really that simple.





	1. Chapter 1

_Stepping forward out into the day_   
_Shrugging off the dust and memory_   
_Though it's soaring still above your head_   
_It is out of sight and none shall see_   
_Ooh there's a light_   
_Ooh there's a light_

_Weight of living part 1, Bastille _

_ **Four Months later** _

There were other people in the stone, quite a few actually, most were children ages ranging from about four to thirteen. There were a few teenagers and even less adults but none were human or self-sacrificing like she was. When she first arrived the children had been fascinated by her, the teenagers were confused and angered by her actions not understanding why she would lay down her life for her brother as they called him, but the adults were understanding. 

Understanding of the love and bond that was between her and Clint. 

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, it didn't exist like it did in the mortal world. The sky alternated between sunrise, day, sunset and a bright and starry night but there was never any need for sleep like there was never any need for eating and drinking or breathing even. The days and nights were always beautiful, never a storm and only a light rain on occasions. There were shelters even though there was no need for them, trees and plants, hills of grass and mountains, bodies of water and water falls and plains that never seemed to end. 

Natasha guessed the world was endless. It was like it was made for children, it made sense because there was plenty of them. There was even a dog and a cat like thing. Merla said was called a Flerken. 

Merla was a small girl with green skin and braided hair, she said she was a Badoon and her mother threw her off the cliff for the stone. She was loud, funny, and energetic and around Lilas age. She reminded her a lot of Lila. 

Pheecall was a Shi'ar girl, the same age as Merla but was taller and instead of her mother who threw her off it was both parents. Pheecall was timid of her at first but quickly warmed up to her and followed her around with Merla at her side. She was kind and gentle but held a deep and dangerous hatred for her parents and loved to tell stories about anything and everything. 

Muce was also a Shi'ar, a boy about the age of sixteen and killed by his older brother, like Pheecall he was angry but accepted his fate what he thought was probably centuries ago. He was tall and lean, fast and good at climbing. His new favorite thing to do was spar with Natasha when he wasn't looking out for the children. 

Xaal was the oldest of the teenagers, eighteen and killed by her mother. She looked almost human except for her blue skin, Xaal told her she was a kree and somehow managed to keep track of the time. She had been there for a little over three hundred years. She reminded her of a Tony, Shuri and Rocket hybrid. 

Altair was the oldest of everyone, seeming like he would be in his mid eighties on earth. He told her he was a Dire Wraith and showed her what that was before returning to his form he chooses.

Adhara was the youngest, about four or five. She didn't say much or remember much but Xaal said she was an Aakon and was here when she arrived in the stone.

Vega and Lyra were sisters, Vega was four years older but they were both sacrificed at the age of fifteen by separate parents for unknown reasons. They were Interdites and often told stories of their people and what little they remembered. 

There were a few others that stayed away from the weird and confusing self sacrificing assassin but she didn't mind, she had all of eternity. Literally. 

Xaal told her she had been there for four months and three days when the sky grew dark, the wind picked up and the thunder and lighting happened which Xaal said that _never _happened. She only saw it for a few moments before she blinked and she was suddenly in the Ancestral Plane with T'Chaka standing in front of her. Natasha let out a sound of surprise and took a stumbling step back before taking in her surroundings. She assumed she was just stuck in the stone.

"Natasha," Her father-in-law greeted, nodding toward her and she briefly wondered if she was supposed to kneel. "We do not do that here," T'Chaka answered for her which wasn't surprising considering he'd known her since she was almost seventeen. "And besides you are a queen." 

Natasha nodded and stayed silent for a moment before speaking. "I'm dead so I'm not really sure I still have that title."

"It never truly goes away," He smiled before speaking again. "Although I am happy to see you, I do wish it had been longer but I cannot say I am shocked at what you did. It takes a lot of love to lay down your life for another."

"It wasn't just for Clint, everyone deserved a chance at their life."

He nodded again. "And you had to take a stand."

Natasha looked up at the sky before turning back to him. "We had to take a stand."

"Despite everything it took?"

"Whatever it took," She answered. "They'll be okay, T'Challa will be okay with time. I am nothing compared to everything we brought back."

"That is where you are wrong," T'Chaka shook his head. "They are not done with you yet."

"Who's not done with me yet?"

"The living." A feminine voice answered from behind and Natasha turned around, Natasha looked back at her father-in-law for an answer but he just nodded towards the women who must have sensed her confusion. "I am Death, while your sacrifice was true it was out of love and selflessness, you fought so your brother could live and for that I come to offer a gift of life, only if you choose so."

Natasha stayed silent for a long moment, trying to figure everything out. She could live? Live to see everyone she died for? She looked back at T'Chaka, he gave her a small nod and a smile. "Life." She answered. 

Death spoke again. "I must warn you, your fight will be far from over."

She didn't hesitate this time. "Life. I choose life." 

* * *

Clint heard the pounding of footsteps shortly after he heard the sound of a jet landing a little past the treeline. He stood up from the kitchen table and picked up his coffee cup, downing the remainder and putting the cup in the sink before heading outside to met T'Challa and Shuri. He called a few weeks ago to ask what he thought about planning some kind of memorial for Nat, T'Challa knew her better than anyone so it was obvious why he should have input as should his sister and mother.

Before Vormir and before Nats sacrifice he sometimes forgot that his best friend was married, Clint had never officially met the man outside of battle and he knew it was long overdue. He just wished Nat was here to introduce them to each other and it they weren't meeting only because of her death. 

"Hey," Clint stuck his hand out once he met T'Challa and Shuri halfway through the field. "How are you?" He knew it was a stupid question, the man lost his wife so of course he wasn't doing good. 

T'Challa took his hand, giving a firm shake. "I...I'm handling it. And you?"

Clint shrugged. "Nate doesn't really understand and it just brings it up everyday."

There was a moment of awkward silence between the three as no one knew what to say before T'Challa cleared his throat and gestured towards his sister, introducing the two.

Clint smiled, shaking her hand as well. "Lila is excited to finally meet you both," He spoke as they walked back to the house, both carrying an overnight bag. "Nat was her favorite person, still is." He explained as he opened the front door to find his wife already in the living room.

Laura walked closer before speaking. "I made sure the kids would stay upstairs for a bit, let everyone get settled."

Clint nodded. "I'm sure Cooper and Lila will be down soon anyway."

She walked over to T'Challa, briefly nodding before speaking. "You must be T'Challa, it's nice to finally be meeting you. I just wish it were under different circumstances." Laura smiled before hugging him, T'Challa froze and heisted before hugging her back.

Once she pulled back, she gently squeezed his arm. "Why don't I show you to your rooms?"

It wasn't until much later, when Nate had gone to bed and Cooper and Lila were in their rooms that Clint, Laura, T'Challa and Shuri began to discuss the memorial on the back porch.

Shuri spoke first. "You all are thinking about doing a memorial for Stark and Nat together?" She clarified. 

Clint nodded, taking a swing of his beer before answering. "Tony would have liked it and Nat wouldn't have liked a whole memorial being planned for just her." He was silent for a moment before cracking a sad smile. "Besides even if Tony would have liked the idea he would have liked sharing it and Nat would like it because it pissed him off."

T'Challa let out a quiet laugh. "That she most definitely would have." Shuri and Laura both smiled.

Clint sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket when it began to ring, he frowned at it and stood up, walking back inside the house. Laura watched as her husband spoke on the phone, she was unable to hear any of the conversation but he looked distressed and something else she slowly recognized as hopeful. 

When he walked out of the house Laura stood up, followed by T'Challa and Shuri. 

"Clint?" Laura questioned, confusion evident in her voice. 

"They, uh, they received a signal from Vormir." He cleared his throat before speaking again, his mind was racing and he was surprised he was able to form sentences. "Carol and the Guardians are checking it out."

Shuri looked at her brother, placing a hand on his back and guiding him back down before he collapsed as Laura spoke.

"Like a body?" She stepped closer to her husband and took his phone, his recent calls screen was open. _Tony Stark_was at the top.

Clint shook his head, opening his mouth before shutting it again and taking a deep breath. "That was Tony, he's alive and he didn't really explain anything besides something about death talking to him and he's not sure what happened and they didn't think I would believe them unless Tony talked to me-"

"Clint." T'Challa interrupted his rambling, sharply. 

"They think it's her." Clint finished, his breathing heavy. "Like alive."


	2. Chapter 2

_Well I have been searching all of my days  
All of my days  
Many a road, you know  
I've been walking on  
All of my days  
And I've been trying to find  
What's been in my mind  
As the days keep turning into night_

_All of my days, Alexi Murdoch _

**Vormir**

**2023**

It was only a few hours before the Guardians showed up with Thor at the bottom of the cliff on Vormir, he was the first off the ship with Rocket and Nebula following close behind him. Thor immediately wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground for a few long moments, just holding her and whispering something she didn't quite understand. Once he placed her back on the ground Nebula and Rocket approached her, both seemed to hesitate neither one of them were touchy people and she normally wasn't either but she just came back from the dead and didn't really care so she hugged them both anyway, it was an awkward hug but they hugged her back. After they pulled away Peter Quill approached her.

"You must be Natasha," He nodded towards her. "Quill." He introduced himself.

She nodded. "I know, Rocket and Nebula told me about everyone." Natasha gave a brief smile before turning to Thor, Rocket and Nebula. "How's Clint? T'Challa?"

The three glanced at each other for a quick moment, a silent conversation passing between the three. "Nat," Rocket spoke up, apparently deciding he'd tell her whatever it was. "Clint's a fucking mess, I mean he watched you die and T'Challa isn't much better."

Natasha took in a shaky breath, trying to calm herself and whatever was going on with her body wasn't helping. The whispering wasn't helping at all but the burning in her veins or the voices in her head weren't her main focus. She was alive and she could go home to her husband, her sister-in-law and mother-in-law, she hadn't seen them in five years and she died to bring them back. But now she got a second chance at her makeshift family she and the other Avengers created.

"I thought they'd be okay." She answered. 

Rocket rolled his eyes. "So you throw yourself off a cliff and you thought they'd be okay? They love you and you died."

Nebula stepped toward her, her voice was a growl and she looked beyond angry. "You thought people would just be okay?" Her voice rose as she spoke and Quill took a step forward but Natasha held up a hand, motioning for him to stop. "You could just fight your best friend for who dies and he'd be okay? He watched you die!" She motioned towards the cliff. "T'Challa came back after five years to fine out you died so we could bring everyone back.'

"Nebula-" Natasha tried but was interrupted.

"You were my sister!" Nebula yelled before taking in a shaky breath and blinked a few times, Natasha noticed her eyes were damp but knew not to comment on it. "And you died and I could have..." She trailed off so Natasha decided to take her chance at speaking. 

She noticed Mantis walking towards Nebula but Rocket shook his head and she backed off, retreating back to her spot near Drax. The other were watching them carefully, waiting to see if they needed to intervene.

"You could have what?" Natasha took a cautious step towards Nebula. "Stopped me? It was my choice, someone had to do it." She held out her hand, offering comfort when Nebula decided she wanted it. 

"It shouldn't have been you." She hissed, leaning towards Natasha.

"Who the hell should it have been?" Natasha snapped. "Clint? You?" She let out a humorless laugh when Nebula took a step back, Natasha knew she had her. "That's it isn't? You think it should have been you." Her voice was soft and calm now, trying to ease the situation.

"You think it shouldn't have been? Of course it should have been, I've done bad things."

"And so have I, probably a lot worse than you and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for that but my mother-in-law once told me that my past does not solely define my present or future but what I do with it and who I am. I have to believe."

Nebula sighed in defeat. "It's not fair."

"A lot of things aren't." Natasha shook her head. "But I'm alive and I'm sorry."

Quill spoke up next after a few long moments of awkward silence. "Sooo, you two good now?"

Nebula nodded, Natasha mentally sighed in relief but knew there was probably going to be more conversations like this one.

"Can we leave now?" Natasha glanced around at the Guardians and Thor. "I'm not exactly a fan of this place and I haven't eaten or slept in four months."

* * *

**Avengers Tower, New York **

**2023**

As soon as she stepped of the ship Tony was in front of her, he stared at her for a short moment before he pulled her into a tight hug. She stood still before suddenly hugging him back just as tight, they stayed like that for a few minutes before Tony pulled back.

"No one made anything but Scott and Hope are on their way back with Taco Bell." Tony explained as he walked with her into the tower, the Guardians following behind them. "She's excited to met you by the way, apparently she's been talking to Laura, Pepper, and Okoye."

Natasha nodded as she sat down beside Tony on the couch. "Thought you sold this place."

He shrugged. "Bought it back a few years ago, regretted selling it."

She nodded again and leaned back, opting to stay quite.

It was a few minutes before Tony spoke again. "We need to talk about this, she said my fight wasn't over."

"I know," She whispered. "But can we just have tonight? We'll talk about it tomorrow."

Pepper walked in a few minutes later, Morgan trailing slowly behind her. The little girl looked confused and tired but she once she saw Natasha she suddenly smiled and ran towards her, jumping in her lap. Natasha winced at the impact, her entire body hurt but she wrapped her arms around Morgan and held her close. 

"You're back too." Morgan spoke softly, burying her face in Natashas hair. "Missed you."

Natasha laughed, gently kissing the top of Morgans hair. "I missed you too, malysh."

Natasha was surprised that Tony wanted her in Morgans life, after the Accords they didn't leave on good terms. She went to Wakanda to be with her husband and helped Sam and Steve or Wanda and Vision when they needed it but for for eight months Clint and Laura refused to speak to her. Cooper and Lila were mad at her because their parents were and in their eyes was the reason Clint was on house arrest. Tony only called her after hearing that T'Challa, Ramonda and Shuri were all gone.

She guessed they would probably be talking a lot more now.

After a few minutes Morgan was passed to her dad and was completely out a few minutes later, Pepper said they both only got a few hours of sleep between the past two days. 

"Two days?' Natasha repeated, looking between Tony and Pepper.

Pepper nodded. "We got the signal two days ago. You don't remember?"

Natasha shook her head. "I only remember a few hours."

"That's it?" Tony asked, trying to hide his concern. 

She knew they were all wondering the same thing. What the hell happened in those 48 hours? 

They didn't get much time to sleep before Wanda burst into the room and went straight for Natasha and sat down beside her, hugging her for a long moment before she pulled back and spoke.

"You aren't allowed to die again." Wanda took in a deep breath before speaking again. "I've lost my parents and brother and I lost Vision, I can't lose anyone else."

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?" Natasha spoke gently, squeezing her hand. "I've got to many people I want to see."

Wanda smiled. "Oh!" She said suddenly. "Clint, T'Challa and Laura are on their way up. Shuri and the kids are with them." She smiled at Tony. "Hey."

"Hey Wanda." He said but she wasn't paying attention, the door opened and T'Challa walked in, his eyes quickly found her. 

Natasha stood up and they stared at each other before she let out something that was a cross between a laugh and a sob, T'Challa quickly walked to her and wrapped his arms around her and just held her. Natasha wrapped her own arms around him, he was warm and whole in her arms and very much not dusty and he smelled and felt like T'Challa. She look in a deep breath as he tighten his grip on her as his own body started to shake against hers. She eventually pulled back and took his face in her hands, wiping away tears with her thumbs.

"My love," Her voice came out as a broken whisper. "Fuck I missed you."

T'Challa laughed, kissing her forehead and ran a hand through her hair. "I love you."

Clint interrupted, smiling. "As sappy and adorable that is I would really like to hit my best friend, maybe she'll have some sense after that." He laughed before punching her shoulder and pulling her into a hug. "If you ever pull that shit again I'll kill you myself."

She laughed but nodded, agreeing."No more self-sacrificing." 

Later that night after everyone had gone to bed, most being beyond exhausted Natasha lay on a spare bed, curled up beside T'Challa.

"It isn't over." She spoke softly into the silence of the dark room.

"What do you mean?" He turned on the lamp beside the table and turned to face her."

"Death gave me an option, I choose life but she told me my fight isn't over." Natasha explained. "She told Tony the same."

"Do you think this is just about you and Tony."

She shook her head. "It feels bigger than that but I've always wanted to know my purpose and I feel like it's this. Whatever it is."

T'Challa nodded, taking her hand in his and kissing her fingers. "Whatever it is, you aren't alone in this."

"I know," She sighed. "I just miss when people were our biggest threat, not gods, monsters, and aliens."

"We're way past those days, my love."

"Shit," Natasha groaned. "I'm sorry. How are you? I mean with the dust and five years and everything."

He laughed, forcing a smile. "I'm okay but I think I should be asking you that. You died."

"And you turned to dust and woke up five years later."

T'Challa kissed her. "I'm okay, I promise. Now get some sleep." He wrapped an arm around her pulling her closer. "I love you."

"I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really hoping to get this up and going more soon. Sorry for the short chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

_Cause even underneath the waves  
I'll be holding on to you  
And even if you slip away  
I'll be there to fall into the dark  
To chase your heart  
No distance could ever tear us apart  
There's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Find my way back, Eric Arjes_

At some someone had gotten her a change of clothes, probably Clint or Laura or maybe Wanda, T'Challa hadn't left her side and Pepper hadn't left Tonys and currently she or Tony were on complete lock down until they found out what to tell the media and they told people who shouldn't find out by the media know. She needed to find away to get to Russia without being spotted and finding out where her family was. Natasha was pretty sure they wouldn't take getting a call well. Did they even know? Or did they think she just completely abandoned them?

There was a knock of the door and T'Challa walked in. "Are you going to get dressed?' He smiled at and walked closer, sitting beside her. "Someone made pancakes."

"Huh?" She looked at him before shaking her head, gathering her thoughts again. "Oh, yeah. Sorry."

His smile feel and he turned so he was facing her. "Are you okay?"

She knew he knew the answer to that but she wasn't ready to talk about dying, the stone, Death and she definitely wasn't ready to talk about the burning or the voices. So, she lied, knowing he would understand. "I'm good."

"Nat-" He started. 

"I'm good," She smiled and took his hand, kissing his knuckles. "Really. But I do need to get to Russia soon."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" 

Natasha nodded. "They were family before anyone else was. They deserve to know before the rest of the world and not find out by media and I need to see them.

T'Challa nodded, taking her hand after she finished getting dressed. "Okay, we'll make that happen." He kept her hand in hers as they exited the room. "Carol is on her way and Nakia, Mother, Okoye, and Amda are demanding you come home soon." He laughed gently. 

Natasha smiled and nodded, letting out a soft laugh. She missed her mother-in-law terribly over the past five years and while she was not her daughter Ramonda loved her as if she were her own daughter and she and Amda had gotten closer since T'Challa and Nakia both were dusted, Okoye was a more complicated relationship now, they met when T'Challa first brought her to Wakanda and Okoye had known her since she was seventeen and she later saw her as an Avenger and some years after that Queen of Wakanda and leader of the Avengers though Okoye still treated her as the terrified and broken child she once knew. 

"That doesn't surprise me, any of it."

T'Challa nodded again as they reached the kitchen. "Carol seems to have a lot of respect for you."

She shrugged, grabbing a coffee cup and pouring some of the black liquid into it and took a sip. It was strong, Clint probably made it. "Carol has a lot of respect for a lot of people."

Rhodey snorted from the door way. "Carol doesn't take orders from many people though."

"I wasn't in charge." Natasha shook her head, taking a larger sip of the coffee as T'Challa made two plates and handed one to her. 

"That's not what I heard." T'Challa smiled, leaning against the counter beside her.

"Well," She glanced at him before turning her focus on the wall. "You heard wrong."

"You were the sole ruler of Wakanda, Bruce was in his lab, Tony got married and had a kid, Clint went on a murder spree, Thor was drunk most of the time and Steve left," Rhodey frowned in confusion. "You were literally the only one who stepped up to handle shit." He walked towards the cabinets and grabbed a coffee cup and filled the cup up. "Do all assassins have that little of self-worth?"

"I don't-" She began to correct Rhodey on the self-worth comment when her husband interrupted.

"You do." He mumbled into his own coffee while she glared at him. 

"It's good to have you back but I don't think I want to be here for that conversation." Rhodey laughed. "Oh, and Steve is back too. Bruce said Strange brought him back." He said before leaving the kitchen.

"What does he mean Steves' back?" She asked once he left the kitchen. 

T'Challa sigh, thinking for a moment before answering. "Steve went back in time to live with Peggy after everything."

Natasha nodded, taking in the information. She, Tony and Steve were all back now? Did Tony feel it too? The last time she felt the burning she accidentally burnt down a whole hospital. Shit. But it only happened once before then and both of the times were under extreme emotional stress. So, don't get into that position again and it'd be okay , right? She didn't know and was to exhausted to figure it out, it'd be okay for now.

"And he's back?" She asked, trying to get her focus on something else. 

"I guess? I mean he was old so I guess young Steve is back?" 

Natasha frowned, his answer wasn't much help. "Strange is the wizard guy?"

T'Challa nodded. "Are you okay?" He asked after a moment. 

She shrugged, staying silent for a long moment, gathering her thoughts. "It's weird, I mean you turned to dust and I thought I'd never see you again, you were just gone and then Lang showed up with this idea and it was going to work," Natasha paused, thinking about her next words. "Thanos went to Vormir and came back with out his daughter and part of me knew one of us wasn't coming back from that mission and I couldn't let it be him, his kids would grow up without a father and I owed him so much and I was prepared for that, dying I mean."

"You knew." It wasn't a question and he didn't sound angry, almost proud. 

She nodded, staying silent. 

"You are a hero, you know that?" He said after a beat. "A pretty damn big one."

Natasha laughed, "I have a feeling that's going to be drilled into my head."

He laughed in return, gently kissing her forehead. "You are."

* * *

Steve came by with a few hours later, they still didn't have the best relationship even after five years. He saw her agreement with the Accords as a betrayal especially after T'Challa made Wakanda public knowledge and with that being released her identity as it's Queen became public soon after that, Wanda was upset for a short time mostly because she never told her and Sam understood why she did what she did. Once he saw her he hugged her, there was still tension but things had eased up. 

"You too?" She asked quietly after they pulled away. 

"The Death thing?" He asked, clearly still confused about everything that had happened over the last few days. "No, apparently going back in time messes with somethings," Steve explained quickly. "And Strange wasn't happy about it."

Natasha nodded. "Peggy?"

"I told her everything," Steve shrugged. "She accepted it and understood I had to come back but said she couldn't come."

She nodded again, staying silent. He could have possibly had his happy ending, maybe if she stayed dead he would have been able to keep it. They talked for a few more minutes before he left to go find Bucky and Sam.

Strange said he'd be there in a few days to talk to her and Tony, saying he had something to deal with first. She didn't mind, she really didn't feel like talking about it and everyone so far respected that or they didn't want to talk about it either but she knew Melina and her over protective ass would have questions and lectures about how stupid throwing herself off a cliff was. Would T'Challa agree to leaving for Russia now? Someone could tell Carol they'd be back in two days at most and then they could just go back to Wakanda. 

It took a few minutes to find him but she eventually found T'Challa talking to Clint on one of the many balconies, they both turned to her when she slide the glass door shut behind her. 

"Russia," She spoke before either one of them could. "Now."

T'Challa sigh, already exasperated with her which wasn't something new. "Tomorrow." He tried reasoning.

"Aren't you supposed to be resting?" Clint spoke up.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "It's Melina, Yelena and Alexei."

"And Yelena isn't going to let you sleep because all she'll want to do is talk, Melina will just yell at you and Alexei won't let you out of his sight." Clint shook his head. 

Natasha knew he wasn't wrong but she wasn't going to let up. "And that's all that'll happen." She looked at Clint. "You know they won't let anything happen."

"Natasha-" T'Challa sighed. 

"I need to see them." She stressed. "They were family before anyone else, they cared when no one else gave a shit."

"Okay." T'Challa agreed after a moment, smiling after she did.

"T'Challa," Clint turned facing her husband. "She needs to take it easy for a bit."

"Would you prefer it if I said no?" T'Challa raises his eyebrows in question. "She'd go anyway." He grabbed her hand, squeezing gently. "You wanna go now?" 

**Izborsk, Russia**

**Vostokoff Residence **

Natasha looked around the house, it was still very much Melina, not very welcoming unless you found it welcoming, a bottle of half empty vodka was on the table beside an empty left over container. She picked up a picture that was still on a table in front of the window in the kitchen, it was taken shortly after she and Yelena escaped the Red Room. Alexei was even more obsessed with the idea of family than he was now, he believe the four of them could somehow actually be a normal family. As if it were possible. 

Then she got into a really bad place and tried to commit suicide by Barton, Yelena left when she was seventeen and Alexei and Melina split a few years later. So much for family. 

"How are they?" She turned to T'Challa, putting the picture down. Melina wasn't one to put pictures out.

He shook his head. "They weren't okay," He shifted, putting his hands in his pockets. "It made it worse when they found out there wasn't a body, Alexei requested that we lay you to rest somewhere in Russia. And they found out by the news." T'Challa finally admitted. 

"They found out through the news?" She growled. 

T'Challa put his hands up, straighten his posture. "Steve announced it when he announced Tonys and I didn't even realize they didn't know until your funeral and they came and Yelena threw her gun at Clint, I wasn't exactly focused on that."

Her face and tone soften as she stepped closer to him, taking both of his hands in hers. "I'm sorry," She spoke softly. "I'm sorry. I know that wasn't easy-"

"T'Challa?" A voice asked, she automatically recognized it as Yelena. 

He turned around, facing the other three and stepping to the right, revealing her.

"Natalia?' Alexei was the first as Melina stepped forward and Yelena lowered her gun. 

"Hey," Her voice cracked. "So, I'm not dead anymore." She shrugged, attempting to lighten the mood.

Melina stared at her for a long moment before taking her face in her hands, examining her once she found whatever it was she was looking her Melina pulled her into her arms. Natasha heard Yelena walk up, standing behind her for a few seconds before hugging her from behind, Alexei gave them a few moments before eventually coming up and wrapping him arms around all three of them. 

"How are you not dead?" Melina asked after a few minutes, she turned to T'Challa before Natasha had time to answer. "How long?"

"We got a single a few days ago that Carol checked out but she didn't find anything but the guardians found her yesterday," He spoke, leaning against the door frame.

"How?" She asked again, turning to her. 

"I don't know," Natasha shrugged. "Death gave us an option and we both choose life."

Yelena walked over, handing her a glass of water. "But Clint said it was everlasting or something."

Natasha shrugged again. "I don't know, I just woke up not dead."

Yelena took a drink of her own water before starting to laugh, spitting of out back into the cup before coughing from what little water she actually swallowed. T'Challa raised an eyebrow in confusion while they just waited for it to end.

"I am not at all surprised," She said after she managed to calm down. "Can I start calling you Zombie now?"

"Yelena," Melina scolded at the same time Natasha shook her head, smiling. 

"Too soon?" Yelena glanced between her sisters. "What about Bobby Ewing? Or Buffy? C.G.B Spender or I could just call you a different character from Supernatural everyday?"

"No," Natasha shook her head, trying her hide her laugh. 

"Yelena," Melina scolded again. "Stop."

"What?" She turned to the older women, obviously annoyed with her mothering. "I didn't do anything, it's a joke."

"Don't speak to your mother that way." Alexei piped up, Natasha wasn't sure if he was joking or was serious, it could be difficult to tell sometimes.

"Can we just not right now?" Natasha spoke, trying to break up whatever was going on. "All of you."

"I'm just trying to get her to shut up." Melina defend herself. "She's being a child."

"I am not being a child!" Yelena almost yelled before calming down, trying her hide her offense. 

"Oh," Melina groaned, rolling her eyes. "Your always a child."

While the two went back and forth with Alexei occasionally saying something that wasn't helping the situation Natasha quietly walked over and stood beside her husband.

"Is it always like this?" He glanced down at her before turning his attention to the argument. 

Natasha stayed silent for a moment, wondering she if she should give him some hope they weren't such a dysfunctional mess. "Yeah," She decided on telling him the truth. "But they're family and I like it."   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a minute hahah but I'm really trying to get chapters out for this fic and hopefully I'll be able to upload more soon, I work at Walmart sooo work is a bit of a mess right now. And for Nakias girlfriend, Amda, I just used a Wakandan name generator I found because it's kinda hard to find names for a fictional place aha. Since we have yet to see Melina, Yelena and Alexei in the mcu I just kinda made them into my own characters because I love the idea of Melina just being super mothering, a bit odd and slightly abrasive but is super kind and caring to Nat and Yelena (most of the time), Yelena being a mix of Florence and Amy March from Little Women and just over dramatic and loud, and Alexei being strange and loud, kind of annoying at times and David said he's kind of a narcissist and thinks he's a big shot and funny but he's really not but he'll beat the hell outta anyone who touches his family. I ALREADY love this family soooo much! And I don't really care if Melina ends up being a villain in the movie and I will completely ignore that.


	4. Chapter 4

_So open your eyes and see  
The way our horizons meet  
And all of the lights will lead  
Into the night with me  
And I know these scars will bleed  
But both of our hearts believe  
All of these stars will guide us home_

_All of the stars, Ed Sheeran_

Later that night when T'Challa had gone to bed, mostly just giving them the privacy he knew they wanted and probably needed, Natasha sat at the kitchen table with Yelena to her right and Alexei had the head of the table to her left and Melina was grabbing a bottle of vodka. When she sat across from her Natasha automatically noticed the brand, Jewel of Russia Ultra, Melina didn't break that out often. 

"I think we could all use a drink." She poured some into each glass before passing them around the table. 

Until Yelena spoke the room was full of an unusual unwelcome silence, when it was the four of them there was never silence unless there needed to be. She and Yelena would be arguing, Alexei would be going on about something or trying to make them laugh, Yelena would talk about anything and everything, Natasha would be teasing someone, and Melina would be lecturing or mothering them or occasionally giving someone a quick jab. 

"Do you remember it?" Yelena asked, after taking a drink from her whiskey glass. "Dying I mean."

"Yelena!" Melina and Alexei both stared at the youngest. 

Natasha was silent before nodding. "I remember falling and hitting the ground," She took a large gulp of her drink and thought for a moment before speaking again. "And it fucking hurt, Clint didn't technically sacrifice me so I had to sacrifice myself and it was like time slowed down but I think it was at most of minute." She shrugged. "I don't know."

She felt Alexei gently squeeze her arm, offering what little comfort he could give.

"What do you mean?" Melina asked.

She could feel all three of them watching her with concern as she stared at the table. "I had to make the choice to never see the people I love again." Natasha took in a deep breath, trying to hold back tears but ultimately failing. "And it was the hardest choice I ever had to make." 

Natasha felt Yelenas hand on her back and Alexei kept his grip on her arm while Melina grabbed her hand. "All I wanted for five years was to get everyone back and I to choose to never get that." She wiped her face with her free hand. "And I couldn't get it."

Melina squeezed her hand. "Everyone's back." She spoke softly. "We're here."

They sat like that for a few long moments with silence that was welcome this time before Natasha spoke, breaking it. 

"I need to ask you a question." She turned to Yelena. "You probably won't remember this."

Out of her corner of her eye she saw Melina and Alexei straighten, getting the hint that it was serious if they were going that far back.

Melina nodded, sharing a glance with Alexei before Natasha again.

"Do you remember when Yelena was on the lake and she almost fell in?"

Alexei nodded. "You got her off but fell in."

Natasha nodded, thinking for a moment. "And I died."

Yelena turned to her before looking between the older two. "She died?"

Melina sighed before speaking. "But there was a bright light or more of a glow and it got really loud." She paused. "Alexei got your body out and then Madame B. came and demanded that it was burned."

"But it wasn't." Yelena stated the obvious, trying to figure out what was going on. 

Alexei shook his head. "When they tried to a shield," He shrugged. "I don't know what else to call it but the fire just levitated not even an inch above her. She woke up and the fire was thrown against two of the men in the room and the other was thrown against the wall with enough force to shatter his spine. Melina and I were the only ones that weren't killed. Why?"

She was silent for a long moment before letting out a sigh and speaking. "It feels like the hospital fire again but amplified, it's stronger now."

"What do you mean amplified?" Melina asked at the same time Yelena asked what happened with the hospital fire. 

The older three exchanged glances before looking at the youngest, trying to decide what they should tell her. Natasha nodded.

"It wasn't long before we left," She started but Yelena knew that. The hospital fire happened when she was fifteen and Clint found her not long after she turned sixteen. "I was sent to get an experiential drug with Melina and Alexei, it would make us stronger and faster among other things, we would essentially be Captain America on steroids but it was flawed. They tested it on others, adults and they didn't survive so they tried children and none of them survived it either." Natasha grew silent, unable to explain the next part.

Melina quickly glanced at her before looking back at Yelena. "It's how she killed Drakovs daughter." She explained, quickly. "He was going to make a trade, the Red Room got his daughter if he could keep the drugs. He wanted to create a super soldier out of her."

"I still don't understand." Yelena looked between the three.

Natasha sighed. "I injected her with it, she didn't survive it so he made it his mission to kill me." She could still remember the girls screams of fear and pain as it burned her from the inside, her veins turning a deep blue as it coursed through her body and destroyed anything it touched. The death wasn't as quick as Natasha wished it had been, it slowed down her blood flow and it probably wasn't more than a minute but they were all too in shock to do anything about it. "She was nine."

"But why didn't you just get it?"

Alexei spoke this time. "You were the test subject and once we saw what it did we weren't going to let them touch you with it."

Yelena nodded, understanding why that had happened but still didn't quite understand how the fire actually started. "But the hospital," She started to speak after a few moments. "How did that happen?"

"Drakov shot Melina and killed her," Natasha started only to be interrupted by Yelena.

"But she's not-"

Alexei held up his hand. "Let her finish."

"He shot and killed Melina and I got really upset," Natasha took in a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions. "I don't remember much besides there was this burning and it got really loud and bright, everything just started to crack or shatter, the glass and walls and floor and the ceiling and then everything was on fire and so was I but I was okay. I remember there was screaming and then I woke up outside in the woods behind the hospital. Alexei got us out."

"I woke up not dead," Melina explained. "Barely was injured."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?" Yelena tried to hide the hurt in her voice.

"I don't like talking about it and only two other people know besides you."

"Does T'Challa know?" Melina asked.

Natasha shook her head. "Only Rocket and Carol? I had a bit of a break down after Thanos, everyone turning to dust and leading the Avengers and Wakanda got to be a lot." She remembered the fire surrounding her and spreading out and covering the lake, something else before that took down a few trees and it got rally loud like it did with the first two times and there was the burning. 

"Is that where Queen Sparklefist and Princess Sparklefist comes from?" Yelena asked eventually, after a few long minutes of silence. 

"Yeah," Natasha nodded before standing up and knocking back the rest of her vodka. "I should get some sleep, we need to leave tomorrow."

Natasha had her hand on the door knob of one of the spare rooms when she noticed Melina standing her the doorway of her own room, they shared a silent conversation before Melina nodded and gave a small smile. 

"Night," She whispered. "I love you."

Natasha smiled. "I love you too." She whispered back. 

When she opened the door she saw T'Challa was still awake and sitting on the edge of the bed. "I think we need to talk soon."

"How much did you hear?" She shut the door behind her but stood in her place. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, answering her question. Damn panther hearing. 

"What the hell was I supposed to say? I make fire and blow things up and that people have died because of it?"

"Yes!" T'Challa exclaimed before groaning in frustration. "No. I don't know. Why didn't you tell me?

"It's not exactly something I wanted to talk to my husband about." Natasha sigh and sat down beside him, running her hands through her hair. 

"Then it's something you talk to your best friend about." He glanced at her. "I'm both."

"I was scared, okay?" She whispered, looking down at the floor.

"Of what?"

She didn't say anything for a few seconds. "You'd realize how fucked up I am and you'd want me gone."

T'Challa was silent for a moment before he grabbed her hand and squeezed, bringing it to his lips. "Look at me." He demanded in a soft tone that only he managed to do, when she did he continued. "I love you, everything, okay? That means this too." 

. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short but I wanted it uploaded. because I'm trying to get in the habit of posting more and with less time between chapters.


	5. Chapter 5

_Oh I'm like a kid who just won't let it go  
Twisting and turning the colors in rows  
I'm so intent to find out what it is  
This is my Rubik's cube  
I know I will figure it out _

_Rubik's Cube, Athlete_

"Is there anyone you can talk to about this?" Yelena asked over breakfast, sitting down her own bowl of porridge beside her cup of coffee. 

Natasha shrugged, sitting down beside her sister and taking a sip of her coffee. "Lorna maybe." She glanced at T'Challa who was starring at Melina pouring vodka into a glass, completely bewildered. "Ignore her," Natasha nodded towards Melina. "She always does that."

T'Challa sat down beside her. "She always drinks vodka at eight in the morning?" He asked, clarifying.

"Melina and Alexei are very Russia." Yelena said around a mouth full of food, T'Challa tried to not look disgusted. Unlike the rest of them he had a decent upbringing and Natasha already knew he probably wasn't going to like Yelena, Melina or Alexei. They could be difficult to understand.

"We're all very Russian." Natasha mumbled, pushing her chair back so it was balancing on its back legs. "We're Russian."

"Yeah," Yelena started, rolling her eyes. "But we don't drink vodka for breakfast or only drink tea for breakfast."

"You drank it when you were fifteen," Melina sat down across from them and took a sip of her vodka, more formal and adult like than Natasha or Yelena. "And don't talk with your mouth full, it's disgusting, childish and you'll choke." Natasha snorted, noticing her sisters frown at being lectured. "And you," Melina turned to her. "Put all the legs on the floor before you fall and bust your head open."

"I'll be fine." Natasha rolled her eyes.

"You said that last time," Yelena said in a singsong voice before turning to T'Challa. "The only reason it didn't happen was because Alexei was ready to catch her when she flipped her chair."

"Whatever," She put her chair down so she was sitting normally. "At least I didn't fall out of a tree."

"You pushed me out of the tree." Yelena stressed as Alexei finally emerged from the backyard and pour a cup of black tea. 

"You fell out once when I didn't shove you." 

The table grew silent while they ate before Melina started starring at her.

"That was you." Melina leaned forward a bit. "That was you that fell out of the tree, it was the summer after you joined SHIELD and you managed to come visit."

Alexei laughed loudly, startling T'Challa. "Wasn't that when the squirrel bit her?"

Yelena let out a quit chuckle. "Dumbass."

"You fell out of a tree because a squirrel bit you?" T'Challa asked, trying to hold back a laugh. 

"No," Melina shook her head, after she managed to stop laughing. "I don't even know why she was in the tree but we just heard Yelena scream and Natalia fall, we went to look outside because for all we know someone is trying the kill them but they come rushing inside running from bees." She laughed softly once. "We later learn Yelena dared her to climb to the top and I guess she got to close to the squirrel and it bit her and while she was trying to get away from it she fell back and hit a branch that had a beehive on it and it fell."

Yelena spoke in between laughs. "She fell out of the tree trying to get away from it."

"It was not my finest moment." Natasha scoffed. 

"You have any more of these stories?" T'Challa asked, clearly amused. 

"Oh," Alexei chuckled. "We have plenty."

"Can we not discus those?" Natasha took another drink from her coffee. "Like ever."

Melina told T'Challa they'd tell him more later at the same time Yelena asked what happened to Dave.

"Is Dave your boy friend?" T'Challa asked before Natasha had time to answer. 

"I'm a lesbian," Yelena stated as if it were obvious. "Dave is my Jackson's Chameleon." She turned to Natasha. 

"Uh," Natasha stalled trying to find a good way to break it to her sister. "Dave," She paused again. "Dave died three years ago. I'll get you a new chameleon, I promise."

Yelena slumped down in her chair. "Alexei already got me one because I was really sad after you died. Her name is Naya." She took in and breath and wiped her eyes. "Like that actress off Glee because you like Glee and it was between that and Nadia because they both start with N A like your name but I thought you'd hate Nadia so I went with Naya. You like Santana, right? I started watching it and Santana is kind of a bitch but I kind of like her." She rambled. "She's a Panther Chameleon. Can I go with you when you leave?"

Natasha glanced at T'Challa who nodded. "Yeah," She nodded and grabbed Yelenas hand. "You can."

Three hours later they were heading back to New York, it would have been sooner but Alexei grabbed T'Challa so they could talk and Natasha was pretty sure it was more of a threat than an actual t."alk while Melina and Yelena took Natasha outside to the wooden plaque at the large tree in the backyard. It was awkward and misshapen with jagged letters spelling out her full name and the year she was born through the current year, it was messy but Alexei had hand made it so she loved it. 

T'Challa flew the jet while she sat beside him and Yelena sat in the back with her bag at her feet and Naya in her hands. She seemed to be having a conversation with her, a one-sided one but Yelena spoke as if Naya knew exactly what she was saying. 

"Who's Lorna?" T'Challa asked, glancing at her for a quick second before turning his focus back to the sky. 

"What?" Natasha turned in her seat to look at him."Oh, she's one of the leaders of the Mutant Underground."

"What's a Mutant Underground?" T'Challa turned most of his focus on her now. "What's a mutant?"

Natasha stayed silent for a moment, processing what he said. Pepper, Rhodey and Okoye all knew where it was and she and Tony and Pepper were helping fund it, helping with medical attention and recruited Helen Cho who was willing to help when needed and interested in learning about mutants, and she, Carol, Rocket and Nebula would sometimes help track mutants down and bring them in since they ran into Lorna almost six months after Thanos. 

"They're people born with certain abilities," She explained quickly. "Like real super powers. The Governments don't exactly like them, it's better than it was and there are laws helping protect them but people aren't exactly on bored with it yet and would attack them, cause them to defend themselves or just lie and say they were attacked and get people arrested which is why they're still underground."

T'Challa nodded. "So, how'd you find out about them?"

"Tony and I ran into Lorna about six months after everyone disappeared," She paused trying to figure out how to explain everything. "We made sort of an agreement, they help us if we need them and in return he help fund it by helping with medical attention and supplies, weapon and training with hand to hand combat and weapons, and a few other things. Their base was originally in Atlanta until it was attacked and Tony and I helped move them to New York."

He nodded again, staying silent for a moment and taking in the information. "Is Wanda a mutant or Carol? What about you?"

"Wanda was experimented on and Carol absorbed energy from the space stone or something," She shrugged. "But I don't know about me. They'd know more."

"You know whatever it is I'm here," T'Challa smiled and motioned back towards Yelena. "I'm pretty sure she is and I think Melina and Alexei are on that list too."

Natasha smiled, looking back at Yelena who was still talking to Naya. "I know. "What'd he even say to you?"

"You know," He shrugged. "The typical keep her happy and I'll murder you if you hurt her father stuff. They seem like good people."

"They are," Natasha nodded. "Alexei always liked kids but we were his favorites," She shifted and crossed one leg under the other. "It pissed everyone else off and we got in trouble for it a few times but they tried to keep us safe. Melina went was cycled through three times, she stuck around for us."

"They sound amazing." He gave a tight smile and bit the inside of his cheek. 

Natasha rolled her eyes. "You're still a terrible liar," She laughed briefly before turning serious. "You don't like them."

He was silent for a few long seconds, trying to figure out how to answer. "They're a lot," T'Challa settled with. "Alexei and Melina both threatened to kill me and I'm pretty sure they're serious, she's somehow seems like an adorable child but I know she will also not hesitate to stab me." He motioned to Yelena. "They're a lot."

"Yeah," Natasha agreed. "They are and they wont hesitate to stab you but they also won't hesitate to kill someone for you."

"We can get rooms set up for them in Wakanda, they can come and stay whenever they want."

Natasha shook her head. "You don't have to do that."

"I know," He gave her a gentle smile. "But they're your family."

"Thank you." She took his free hand in hers. 

* * *

After the got back to the tower Strange was already there and wanted to check her like he already did Tony who he deemed normal and healthy He was a little more puzzled her by, while Tony had burn scars from the energy from the stones he had no other physical damage she had more evidence of falling off a cliff and actually dying or something like that, she wasn't exactly sure what he meant by that but he said there was evidence of broken bones and internal damage from the fall and that he wanted her to take it easy for awhile. 

"You were in the stone, correct?" He asked once it was just them, he didn't mind T'Challa being there for the physical examination and he figured she'd be more comfortable with someone she knew being there given her past. He continued speaking. "Do you remember any of it?"

Natasha nodded again. "There were others there, adults and kids and there was a cat or something like that. " She paused, thinking about the world itself before continuing. "It was constantly and no one needed it eat or sleep, it never stormed or anything like that, there was plants and water there and a few buildings, and it just didn't end."

"What do you mean it didn't end?"

"I walked for what I think is about six or seven days and ended up back where I started."

"Did you get tired at all?"

She shook her head. "I didn't sleep at all and I didn't eat often."

He nodded. "That probably explains the malnourished, sleep-deprivation and dehydration."

"Tony doesn't have any of that."

"He doesn't," He agreed. "But Tony died and so did you but your soul was elsewhere, something like an in between life and death so lake of sleep or not eating affected you after you came back."

Natasha stayed silent for a moment before speaking again. "I hear voices." She blurted out. "It's recent and I don't always hear them but I think it has to do with the stone, there were others there and it's in their languages or sometimes all-speak."

"Can you understand any of it?"

She shook her head. "Not enough to understand it, over half of a sentence could be in a language I don't understand. The stones were destroyed, could there even be people alive in it?"

Strange sighed, leaning back against the table. "I don't know, the soul stone is the stone we know least about. We don't even know what it does."

"Is there anyone who would know?"

"That person would probably be you, in time at least." He explained.

She nodded, staying silent and wondering if she should talk to him or just wait to talk to Lorna. 

"What is it?" He asked, seemingly noticing her internal conflict. 

"I need to show you something." She waited until he nodded before attempting to make fire, she'd done it before completely by accident and nearly had a panic attack when the fire started at her finger tips and slowly spread up her arms until she somehow managed to stop it. She stared at her hands for a moment before a golden yellow swirling ball of energy appeared in her hands, Natasha stared it before it broke off into tiny pieces and flew in different directions. Strange quickly grabbed her and formed a shield around them before it could do any damage to them, pieces of it were stuck in the wall and a few went trough the window, only leave a small hole as evidence. 

Strange walked towards the wall and touch the glowing piece and took it out of the wall and examined it before showing it to her, it was almost like a shard of glass if glass was a strange bright and seemingly glowing now. "Is this what you wanted to show me?"

Natasha quickly shook her head. "I've never done that before, I've done some serious damage before but that was with fire."

"You can control fire?" He asked, even more shocked than he was a minute ago. 

"I can't control it." She stepped toward the window, looking at the hole it made. The glass wasn't even jagged, it seemed like something an actually glass cutter would do. "I've made it."

"Can you do that now?"

She shrugged and stayed where she was, hoping whatever happened last time wouldn't happen again. Natasha took in a breath and focused before she felt heat at the tips of her fingers, spreading up to her hands and a little above her wrist before Strange motioned for her to stop and she did. 

"How long have you been able to do that?" He asked after a moment. 

"The first time it happened I was a kid." She explained before explaining the first time it happened to the hospital fire and to the burning she felt now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha's abilities will be fully explained in time among other things. I also changed the color of Natashas powers because the color I had them didn't suit her to me.


	6. Chapter 6

_You were right on time to break your head and make the death bed  
You were right on time to crash those galaxies and flat-line  
You were right on time to make the light inside of me a life  
You were right on time to meet me, crazy love, and watch us die_

_Marked for death, Emma Ruth Rundle _

Strange wanted to test her abilities but they didn't very far besides a few glowing spheres and some fire, he decided it was enough when she accidentally sat a house plant on fire and caused the smoke alarm to start ringing. It was night when they finally stopped and decided they'd talk to Lorna tomorrow before she, T'Challa, Shuri and Yelena left for Wakanda. As much as she enjoyed being in New York and everyone that she considered family she also missed her home and her people there, Wakanda had not been her home without T'Challa, Ramonda or Shuri. 

Natasha sighed and pulled her damp hair up in a loose ponytail, she had just showered but she wasn't sure if she'd ever stop feeling like she hadn't showered in months or slept. She turned when there was a knock on the door frame and smiled when she saw T'Challa. 

"Rogers wants to talk about future of the Avengers." He leaned against the door frame. "Someone needs to be in charge and other things."

Natasha nodded and grabbed her bra, quickly putting it on under her black and tank. "I'll be ready in a minute."

T'Challa nodded as she put her leggings on. "You can still have if if you want, I'm sure no one will object."

She shook her head, walking into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of shoes, sliding them on. "I don't want it, I don't lead." Natasha paused, shrugging. "I just follow."

"You did it for five years."

Natasha shook her head again. "Yeah, and-"

T'Challa interrupted her. "Wakanda is in great shape and the Avengers actually solved problems with out creating any problems for five years. I also have a feeling Carol, Rocket and Nebula aren't going to take orders from anyone else."

Natasha stayed silent for a moment, Wakanda was in great shape and the Avengers hadn't had any problems but that wasn't just her doing, she also wasn't in the best shape those five yeas but she was almost positive he didn't know that. The only people who knew what her mental state truly was was Okoye, Carol, Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula and they didn't mention it, they just made sure she wasn't alone for an extended period of time and made she was eating more than a peanut butter sandwich. 

"Steve's good at leading, it's what he does."

He nodded, sitting down beside her on the edge of the bed. "He also helped lead the the Avengers into a civil war and had Wanda in the filed long before he should have, she was only nineteen and wasn't experienced."

"Tony brought the spider kid in," She shrugged, she was sixteen when Clint found her and six months later she was doing missions for SHIELD and it didn't take a therapist to realize it messed her up more. "Children shouldn't be used in battle." 

"No, they shouldn't," T'Challa agreed. "You understand that but Steve and Tony don't fully understand it and they aren't capable of understanding because they were adults when they went into battle."

Natasha sighed and stood up, holding out her hand for T'Challa to take and when he did she squeezed gently. "I'll think about it."

T'Challa smiled and stood up, kissing the top of her head. "You are meant for great things, my love." 

She smiled, shyly before speaking again. "C'mon," Natasha kept a lose hold on T'Challa's hand as they walked into the conference room, the original Avengers were there along with Wanda, Sam, Rhodey and the newer Avengers from the past five years with an exception of Okoye. She assumed Laura was with the kids, Shuri was in the lab or with Nate and she was pretty sure Yelena said something about going for a walk.

"Nice of you two to join us." Tony quipped from a chair in the corner of the room, Pepper who sat beside him smacked his arm gently as Carol stood up from her seat and hugged her. 

Natasha hugged the women back, Carol wasn't on Earth as much because of how busy she could be sometimes but she quickly became one her most trusted friends and they often checked in on each other. Natasha wasn't sure of the exact Nature of her relationship with Maria but she knew she died a few years prior to the decimation and that Monica was one of the dusted. They quickly bonded over the loss of the people they loved and Carol was one of the few people who knew about Oseri and her death only two weeks before Thanos came to earth. The loss of her daughter was the most painful thing she had ever gone through but at least she had her family, that is, until she didn't.

"As happy and grateful I am that Monica is alive," Carol started, as she pulled back from the hug and gave her arm a squeeze. "Your death was not an easy thing to handle."

Natasha gave her a sad smile before Steve mentioned that it was already late and they should get this over with, especially if they were going to make it public knowledge tomorrow. Carol sat down in her seat between Rhodey and Nebula as Natasha and T'Challa took their own. 

"First thing we need to mention is that Ross is back," Steve spoke up after everyone was seated. "And while I, Sam and Wanda were officially pardoned for going against the Accords he still isn't exactly happy about the things Natasha took part in after the Accords or that Tony help, and he isn't going to be happy when he hears that you're both alive."

"You mean when they took down the Red Room again and needed a little help finding a guy?" Tony asked as soon as Steve stopped speaking. 

"A lot of people died or injured, it wasn't long after Natasha signed the Accords and it was going against them for a second time and not to mention working with an enemy." Steve sighed, clearly ready for the argument that was already inevitable. 

"Bad people died, Steve," Natasha stated as if was obvious and she thought to most people it would be. "And Melina, Yelena and Alexei are not the enemy."

"They're KGB." Wanda joined in, defending Steve. "Alexei willingly worked and was experimented on by the KGB and Melina went through the Red Room multiple times."

Natasha stared at the younger girl in disbelief. "You willing worked for and was experimented on by HYDRA, Alexei wasn't told he was working for the KGB, just that they'd help take care of his sister and Melina went through the Red Room three times for me and Yelena."

"Wanda didn't know, Natasha." Steve reasoned. 

"She can read minds or whatever it is she does and you're telling me she had no idea what she was doing?" Natasha questioned before turning to Wanda. "And stay the hell out of my head."

" I mean," Clint started, shrugging. "Nat does have a point, we kind of jumped the gun a little."

"So, you're saying I shouldn't have been allowed to be an Avenger and I should have been locked up?" Wanda narrowed her eyes and leaned against the table. "That's what happened when I didn't sign."

"When did I ever say that?" Natasha had to resist the urge to roll her eyes, she liked Wanda but she never really trusted the girl and she never believed the fully innocent and not understanding act either. "All of I'm saying is that you shouldn't of been in battle and I don't believe you didn't know who you were working for."

The room grew silent when Wanda's eyes flashed red for a second before going back to brown as quick as it happened, T'Challa automatically sat up straighter, ready to fight if necessary while Natasha didn't take her eyes off Wanda. 

Rhodey cleared his throat. "New topic, like who's in charge? Is it still Nat?" He turned to her. 

Natasha shrugged at the same time Steve spoke up. "I'm stepping back up as leader."

"Did we decide this when the rest of us weren't paying attention?" Tony asked, sighing in annoyance. "I don't think everyone is going to take orders from you either."

"They listen to Natasha." Steve gestured towards her. 

"We like Natasha." Carol sat back in her chair, mostly listening to the conversation like Scott, Nebula, Rocket and T'Challa were. 

"I never stepped down." Natasha stated after a few moments of silence.

Steve turned to her, raising an eyebrow while T'Challa offered her a small supporting smile and Nebula breathed out a sigh of relief for being able to still work under someone she trusted. "You weren't here for six months."

"Neither were you." She did roll her eyes this time, leaning back in the chair and crossing her arms. This was going to be a long conversation. "And I threw myself off a cliff and you just went back in time and left your best friend, so technically speaking I never stepped down and you wouldn't have been in charge anyway. Before the mission I talked to Rhodey and Carol and let them know they were in charge until T'Challa could take over."

"You can't rule a country and lead the Avengers at the same time." Wanda tried reasoning.

It was clear why she didn't want Natasha in charge, Wanda wanted to fight and Natasha wasn't going to let her not until she was sure Wanda could control her powers and she was sure that Wanda was mentally stable. Clint told her about the world Wanda made, being married to Vision, having children and her brother being alive but he also explained that Wanda's reality was tearing apart their reality and Strange had to put an end to it. 

"I did for five years by myself." She didn't entirely blame anyone for that, Tony got married and had a daughter and they all had different ways of coping but she would have liked it more if everyone just didn't leave. 

"Look," Steve sighed, speaking gently. "Nat, I completely get it and I understand that Carol,Nebula, Rocket, Okoye and Rhodey worked with you for five years and that they trust you more than they trust me but you weren't exactly the most stable in the past five years."

Natasha snorted out a humorless laugh. "At least I wasn't drinking everyday, didn't go on a murder spree or didn't leave." She saw Clint look down at her comment and she almost felt bad, it was uncalled for but she wasn't wrong. "I wasn't stable but I stayed."

"Yeah, you just went on suicide missions and survived off peanut butter sandwiches, speed and coffee." Steve retorted. "The rest of us didn't try to get ourselves killed or go insane. You aren't a leader, Natasha, you weren't built for that, I've read you're file."

The room grew silent after that statement and Steve's face shifted with regret, it wasn't impossible to understand what he was talking about. Programming. Conditioning. The Red Room 

"That rude," Natasha stood up quickly followed by T'Challa. "And I'm done with this conversation."

Natasha turned and walked out of the room, followed by T'Challa and Carol, she briefly heard Clint mutter something in her defense before the door shut behind the three. She was silent for a moment before letting out a huff and turning around to face the two. 

"What was that?" T'Challa glanced between the two women, breaking the awkward silence. 

"He's," Natasha paused for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to say. How much did T'Challa know of the five years? "Not wrong."

"You lost a lot." Carol reasoned quickly. 

Natasha gave her a small appreciative smile but shook her head. "We all lost a lot, you lost a lot and you stayed sane."

Carol nodded, understanding but Natasha could tell she wasn't ready to back down yet. "I didn't lose a daughter two weeks before the rest of my family turned to dust and my friends abandoned me. You lost yourself for a bit but you stayed and held everyone else together." She pointed to the other room. "They didn't do that."

Natasha tensed, looking away and moved closer to T'Challa, putting a hand on his back when she noticed his shift. She had five years to grieve but after she found out T'Challa, Ramonda and Shuri were gone she had been a complete mess for months, she wasn't eating or sleeping and to avoid sleeping she started using speed among a few other things during those months, the only people that knew how bad it got was Okoye and Rhodey but T'Challa woke up to find out his wife had died only two weeks after their daughter. Their grief was shared. 

Carols face feel before she spoke again. "I'm so sorry." She apologized quickly. "I shouldn't have said anything, it's probably not the easiest thing right now." 

T'Challa shook his head, offering Carol a sad but grateful smile."It's fine."

Carol nodded, smiling back before speaking again and looking at Natasha. "You are one of the bravest, most loving and loyal people I have ever had the honor of meeting, don't let anyone take that from you." She nodded again and squeezed her shoulder before walking off towards the kitchen. 

"We should talk." T'Challa said after she walked away, grabbing her hand before starting to walk, leading her in the direction of the room they were staying in.

Natasha nodded, automatically following close behind him. She knew it was a conversation they would need to have at some point, Natasha didn't think Okoye would tell him everything that happened but he deserved to know. Once they were in the room Natasha shut the door behind her before walking over to the bed and sitting down on the edge of it. After a few seconds T'Challa sat down beside her, they both stayed silent for a few minutes before he broke it.

"What was he talking about?"

Natasha licked her lips and let out a quiet sigh. "I wasn't handling everything that well," She paused. "Everyone either turned to dust or just left and between that and taking on the Avengers and Wakanda I wasn't sleeping much and I didn't want to sleep, because every night I had a dream that you came back or it just didn't happen and every morning I would wake up and you wouldn't be there," Natasha paused again, taking a breath. "I started taking speed and I started doing things that were stupid."

"Like suicide missions?" He asked, tentatively.

She nodded. "The Red Room started back up and I started watching it and tracking people down, took down a few drug rings, human trafficking rings and a few other things like that and eventfully I got careless. I wasn't watching my back and another girl from the Red Room caught up to me."

"What happened to her?"

Natasha shrugged before answering. "Things got violent but she got away, I don't know what happened to her after that."

"I'm so sorry." T'Challa spoke after a moment.

She shook her head, turning to him and taking his face in her hands. "None of that was your fault, I made my own decisions and I was better after awhile, Okoye, Carol, Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula helped."

He gave her a small and gentle smile before placing his forehead against hers, Natasha let out a soft sign in contentment. They stayed like for a few minutes before Sam followed by Yelena burst into the room.

"We've got company." He said before quickly exiting the room and going outside. 

"Who-" Natasha started before Yelena interrupted her. 

"Some gold guy," She shrugged. "Says he's not talking til you come out."

T'Challa looked at her in question and she shrugged. Yeah, they had some enemies throughout the Galaxy but they also made a few allies over the years too and she couldn't think of any gold people besides Rocket only half explaining a group she was half listening to not long after they first met.

Yelena walked a few feet in front of them, glancing back every few minutes and T'Challa wanted beside her. Once they were outside the others were already there with the exception of Cooper, Lila, Nate, Morgan and Laura. 

"Natalia," The man spoke, walking towards her and he was in fact golden. "You must be the one who survived the soul stone." He waited for her to answer but she got the feel he already knew but it was a test of some sort. 

She nodded before speaking. "Well, I'm no longer dead."

He nodded. "That is what it seems, isn't it? I am Adam and my High Priestess isn't happy about that fact." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Wanda was supposed to be around seventeen in Civil War but in my opinion Elizabeth Olsen does not play a convincing teenager because she does not at all look like one so I did age Wanda up two years(being 19 in civil war and 18 in aou) and and would currently make her 21. I also have been several people say that Natasha probably wouldn't have a problem with Wanda or Peter fighting because she was a child when she went through the Red Room but I just honestly feel like that'd make her against it and more protective of children because she understands the damage it can do to someone especially a child.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to write this since I saw Endgame but I really REALLY shouldn't be starting anything else but screw it because I can't get this out of my head.  
I'm also not completely sure about the timing, it looked somewhere between winter and spring in Endgame so I'm saying it was March at the end of the movie making this start in June.  
Title comes from Legends never die by League of Legends
> 
> Heyyy sooo I got stuck for a long ass time on this and because of that I rewrote some of chapter one as of 1/3/20


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